Father…
Today, I realize that I failed to recognise you in a situation that YOU had/have in your complete control. You were beckoning my husband and I both to help a family…..
Why??? Why did this not work out?
Let me tell you a story…..
There was a young girl that was broken at an early age. Her entire life started with abandonment and rejection. Her entire life she wanted nothing else but to be loved, happy, and to have a home…
At a very young age.
Her home became broken
Her home was stolen as a toddler.
Her mom and dad had some big issues that a tiny child couldn’t understand…
And so she was placed somewhere that didn’t have her mommy and daddy.
All she wanted was her mommy. She felt abandoned, alone, and scared.
She grew up a little more.
She attended school where she was distracted because of her broken home.
She had siblings that didn’t know what to do for her. They knew to protect her but didn’t know how to love her the way they should have. So she was kind of forgotten by them.
In school her grades failed
She was bullied and instead of telling her she was loved. They made fun of her and called her names.
She was abandoned, alone, and scared. Rejected.
Rejected again and hurt again. She just wanted a friend. She wanted to be happy. She wanted a home.
She was placed back in her home.
IT still wasn’t truly her home. She stood on the side lines and watched her siblings destroy their lives. They weren’t there for her because they were too caught up in the selfishness of their own lives and drugs. Who knows what she experienced in that home?
She watched silently as everything was destroyed around her. Watched her siblings not cope with their life….and ignore her….she was silent….she was alone…
Then she met this guy….He was someone who she was so in love with. He showed her attention.. Promised her the world. He loved her…. And they were married even through the chaos of the very people that rejected her telling her that he wasn’t good enough for her…
Yet, he is the only one that gave her the attention she so desperately needed and wanted. He thought she was beautiful and everything she ever thought she wanted or needed was found in him.
What she didn’t know is that this man…He had deep troubles too.
Similar to her mommy and daddy.
He loved her but he loved something else a little more.
He would be there and they would concieve a son…
This son was an image of his father but he had his mother’s big sad eyes. He just wanted to be loved. He just wanted to make his mommy and daddy happy.
He just wanted a home…
The father couldn’t handle the stresses of life….
The mommy wanted to keep the daddy.
To keep him and love him…
She didn’t know how.
He had left so much….
He abandoned her…
All she wanted was to be loved, to have a home…
For a moment things seem to be getting better.
They were going to start trying to be better together but, it seemed like everything in the world was against them.
It seemed like they were fated for death.
The addiction grew. It started again..
The girl was desperate.
She could feel the same fate coming for her home again.
She was scared..
She didn’t know if she could handle him leaving again if the addiction got any worst…….but, she couldn’t help him because she had the same addiction now..
The hurt she felt she covered with a mask of nerve pills…..
She just wanted to be loved, she wanted a home…
She wanted attention…
She wanted it all…..
So she made a decision to try and find something to make her feel better..
She left and once again the world seemed fated to destroy her…
It seemed like she was fated to be abandoned…
She made a mistake…
She wanted to come clean to the one man she loved and opened her arms to every time. She wanted him to know that she was sorry.
She wanted him to forgive her and she thought he would show her the same forgiveness and try to repair their home with her…
What was left of it…. but he didn’t….
He wouldn’t even look at her…
He wouldn’t touch her…….
She was rejected…..
She decided she would give up…
She couldn’t find the love she wanted.
She couldn’t find the home she wanted…
She couldn’t……
But here is the other half of that story……
When that girl was but a child; there was a man…
A man that silently stood broken watching this family fall a part…
He was trying to give this girl the home that she desired and He spoke to the mommy and daddy of this little girl but, they wouldn’t listen….
They ignored His pleading because the addiction was strong that it over powered his small voice….
So He placed her in a home where she could be introduced to Him.
He placed her where she could learn about Him in sunday school class….
He would hold her hand silently….
She didn’t feel Him because of her grief over her mommy and daddy.
He stood with her in the class rooms and held her hand along the way.
He told the other little children to be kind to her because she was broken.
They would not listen and instead cast their own burdens on the little girl
So He just held her as she went through the humility of it all. She didn’t believe He was there..
She didn’t hear.
So He just stood there silently holding her hand crying with her hoping that in this new place she would come to love him..
That she would allow him to build a home in her heart….
Things changed.
The mommy decided to listen to the voice that told her that she was needed by her children…
So she was placed back with the mommy and daddy….
Things seemed good for a little while.
The girl was lead to a place where she could experience His healing power and it was good.
For a short time…..
He stood silently with her as her family started falling a part… He stood silently holding death back away from her siblings because He knew that they would come to Him after they were through but, He couldn’t make them stop now because the addictions and anger spoke louder then His still small voice.
So He stood with this little girl….
She was scared.
He tried to talk to her and whisper in her ear and she would listen from time to time but the fear and anxiety and all the cares of the world would come and take away everything that He spoke to her….
So He waited silently and cried for her..
He would wait for her.
He watched as this man came into her life and He thought this would be a good thing.
They would allow Him into their home for a time and He could do mighty works through them both if they would allow Him .
The man couldn’t overcome.
His addiction spoke louder then the still small voice that told Him not to do it.
The voice that begged Him to be a father to his son and a loving husband to the little girl.
He couldn’t hear him.
He couldn’t feel Him tugging him back home. Trying to get him to go the other way..
So He stood with the little girl and held her hand as she cried…
He listened as she begged him to save her husband…
He wanted so badly to grant her request and He would but…
He couldn’t take the husbands free will away…
He would continue to beckon the husband..
He would give him dreams…
He would talk to him through others around them and whisper things to him but the man could not hear….
So the little girl gave up…
She thought that the man was no where around to hear her prayers.
She thought because her husband didn’t change that the prayers were not heard.
So she decided to take something for the pain.
She decided she would at least numb this feeling and survive it that way at least for her son….
Her son…
He just wanted a home..
To be loved…
He just wanted attention and he prayed for his mommy and daddy…
And the man stood by him and listened.
The mommy started doing things to ease her pain but it was only temporary
and the pain just grew and grew because nothing healed it.
So she had to do more and more to numb it.
The little boy tried to help his mommy and daddy.
He cried for them and talked to them about the man.
He tried to tell them not to fight.
He tried to get his daddy to stay and the man was speaking through this little boy but even with
an audible voice they just couldn’t hear the man.
So the man stood there silently….Alone.
Wanting to be loved
Rejected He cried and prayed for them.
He cried and ask His Father to have mercy on them.
He said; “I know I can get there attention. Just give me a little longer Father.
I know I can heal their pain and make things better. Just give me a little longer Father.
I know they will hear me eventually Father Just give me a little more time Father.”
And each time the Father honoured the Son because He paid a dear price for the little girl.
He suffered for the little girl and loved her so much.
He tried to give her the love that she desired but she rejected it.
He tried to come and live with the little girl.
She would never allow him to live in her home.
She thought it was too messy in there for Him to live.
She thought if she could only clean it up a little bit then maybe He could come stay but not until then.
All the time the man is begging her to let Him in.
She would have so much easier time cleaning it up if she would only let him in.
The blood He shed for her makes everything clean and new. He knew if He could sprinkle a little bit in there that it would spread to the other places and everything would be clean and new….
She couldn’t get past all that she had done and how she had failed so miserably.
The man, He just wanted to pick her up and carry her until she could stand on her feet with Him by her side.
She didn’t want him to touch her because she felt dirty and ashamed but He whispered to her that His blood could take away that shame…
He could take away that dirt and grime all she had to do was let him touch her and hold her…
If she would only reach out for his tassles and desperately as she reached for everything else then she could be healed…
The little girl was scared she didn’t know if she could trust anyone else.
This man…He loved the little girl. He loved her so much that He just couldn’t give up….
He would stand silently and wait for her.
He would from time to time speak to her through the little boy, those around her, and give her dreams…
He would listen to the little boys prayers and if she chose to listen..
He would grant them and give them a home….
I just want this to encourage everyone and know that God is listening and answering prayers. He works behind the scenes most of the time. He tries every way He can to reach a person because He doesn’t want anyone to perish! He loves everyone so so much. We will never comprehend the height nor depth of His love. So, when you find yourself asking why? Why hasn’t He heard me or answered! I want you to remember that He has heard and He is beckoning that love one to do the right thing but, His plans are hindered and prayers are left un answered because He doesn’t force anyone to come to Him. He beckons them. He starts a pursuit of them because He loves them more then you do. He will not force ANYONE to choose Him but, He will try to show them how much they are loved and hopefully once they grasp that. They will hold on to it and turn back! I love you guys!
God Bless you!
p.s. This started out as my own prayer for this particular person and this was how He answered me.
Jeremiah 23:29 